


Need

by Shoehole



Category: Moral Orel
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Clay x Daniel, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Depression, post honour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoehole/pseuds/Shoehole
Summary: Clay puppington is feeling lonely so he decides to pay Daniel a visit in order to rekindle old flames.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Need

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short little story I made to express how much I love this short claymation show!
> 
> As much as I loved the finale to this show I thought it would be fun to explore the possibility of what could have happened between Clay and Daniel.
> 
> I tried out a new style of writing and I’m not sure how I feel about so please bare with me if the writing seems a little off.
> 
> This is my first time publishing my writing, I hope you enjoy! :)

Clay’s POV-

I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

The thought bloates my head, weighing it down. It’s foggy, and hot. Could just be the alcohol.

These thoughts are blunt, but hurt nonetheless.

I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.

I was used to the repitition, my thoughts, my work, my family, my life. He was different though. He’s gone now.

The soft sound of numbing ice rapping gently against the glass was soothing. Reassuring almost?

I drum my fingers against the armrest of my plush green chair. I almost feel content, but not really. As I draw the chilling glass to my lips I relish in the feeling of false serenity. The room felt cozy, safe, it stood tall and proud. I gaze up at the hunting trophy’s I had gathered, resting upon my walls. It was quite impressive really.

I promptly swallow the liquor, the contents of the glass emptying down my throat, the only evidence left behind being the bitter burn that lingered.

I don’t get it. I really don’t. In the back of my head I do but as an individual I hide the truth from my conscious and leave it to fester in my subconscious.

I don’t get why Daniel ended it.

I don’t need to change. I’m perfectly fine. It’s everybody around me. They are the ones who make my life so... so...?

I shake my head, my mind felt utterly dull as I searched for a word which never came.

My mind wanders to what I had said,

“I love you”

Sure it was directed at Orel but it was meant for him.

It had been around a month, hard to keep track for time.

I really do miss him though.

“I need you in my life”

Is what I had said. I meant it.

I rub my temples as my head rung with thoughts, unwelcomed unwanted thoughts, thoughts which made his stomach churn. Again, could just be the alcohol.

Daniel’s POV-

It’s really hard. I don’t miss him so much as I miss the feeling I got when I was around him, the feeling of warmth, comfort, escape. Who am I without him? I had a goal, he was my goal, my trophy, my purpose, one could even say I loved him? Maybe.

I try not to think about him.

I could just be happy being ‘Coach Stopframe.’

It’s what’s best for everybody and I don’t regret my decision. Only sometimes.

Regret is not an emotion one should act on.

I cut him out of my life. The pictures that once hung on his wall, now tucked neatly into a cardboard box stated differently, the dead bear which he just hadn’t quite found the time to part with yet said differently. These thoughts said differently.

Clay’s POV-

My mind is jumbled and hazy.

“I need you in my life”

I repeat the soundless words again.

I grit my teeth. It was too hot in here.

Frustration grips me, why though?

I sit slumped in my armchair, deep in thought.

I feel dumb, helpless, the thoughts push me into a deeper frustration. Frustration rooted with anger, the anger of feeling brushed off, ignored and overall insignificant.

I mutter something to myself, slurring heavily enough to mask the words as my thoughts lingered on that single sentence. Those words so neatly strung together to make up that sentence which held so much value.

I’m not responsible for most of my actions, I admit.

I’m guilty for aimlessly spitting words into the air. But that one sentence, oh that one sentence I really meant it. That one sentence was one of the few that had not been obscured, twisted, by the effects of alcohol.

Need. It’s a word often misused. Often confused between the word want. Those two words bare much resemblance of each other. Yet a fine line separates them. Need. It’s an essential, to surviving, to existing. That’s a pretty heavy meaning.

“I need you in my life”

I test the sentence on my tongue, a whisper barely even audible to the keenest of ears.

It felt right.

I can’t imagine my life without him. He made me feel complete. He made me feel wanted. A feeling I so desperately yearned to be able to embrace.

I needed to keep that feeling.

Hey there’s that word again, need.

I lift myself from my chair. Feeling hollow, numb as my I trudge towards the faint glow illuminating from the crack underneath the door.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing as I make my way down the stairs. Step by step. Closer to the door of my home. No my house. You couldn’t really call this a home.

I slip my arms gingerly through the holes of my jacket, ever so slightly sliding the smooth plastic buttons through the holes.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing as the warm flesh of my fingers meet the harsher brass of the door knob. Barely making an effort to not make the long floor boards creak beneath my feet so not to wake my family. But really, I couldn't care less.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing as the brisk dusk air pierces through the warmth beneath my jacket, immediately sending a shiver through my body.

I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing as I turn the key, starting the car. Large puffs of volumptious exhaust emitted from the rusted over tubes which jutted from the family wagon. Dancing into the night as if they had never existed at all, Insignificant; That was my only thought.

I’m not exactly sure where I’m going as I revved the engine before pulling out of the driveway. I’m not exactly sure, but I have an idea.

Not a good idea, a reckless, not thoughtout idea, but an idea nonetheless, but hey what could you expect.

Daniel’s POV-

A weary smile settled on my face. The dim light above flickered, casting shallow golden light across the room along with a dull buzz.

My mind felt empty. But in a good way.

It’s getting late I should probably get to bed.

I groggily began to let go of my consciousness, my eyelids drift closed.

The silence is butchered. A sharp breath enters my lungs upon hearing a knock at my door. Then another.

Clay’s POV-

Hard wood meets my fingertips as I rasp them against the door for the third time. I still don’t know what I’m doing.

The door hinges groan as the door stretches open before the harsh snap of the chain link lock strains it from opening farther.

He’s there. Of course he’s there.

What am I doing goddammit.

I didn’t think this through, what did I expect.

It’s all a blur. My mind, my vision, I can’t think.

My mouth opens slightly agape as if to speak, however no words spill out.

“What?”

His voice isn’t harsh, nor cold, just... flat.

My heart is doing hurdles within my chest, what was I thinking?

Surreal, that’s the perfect word to describe the setting.

“I-I um”

I slur, barely putting in effort to speak, my voice came out weak.

He raises his eyebrows slightly.

I pull myself together.

“Just, I was wondering if I could come in”

“It’s a bit late”

The statement was firm, firm enough to hurt ever so slightly. Just a twinge.

“Just. Just quickly.”

The words slide out awkwardly. What am I doing here?

Thick tension hung in the musty air.

The sound of the chain link lock clicking off the door was the reply I was rewarded with. The door yawned open.

Daniel’s POV-

I don’t want this man in my house.

But what choice do I really have.

My body tenses up as he enters my house. Heat pulses though my body. My words are caught in my throat.

I look down somewhat awkwardly, being cautious to avoid accidental eye contact.

The sound of the light flickering and buzzing was the only noise to fill the room.

I broke the silence first.

“Well?”

I prompted. I tried to keep my voice monotone, stripping any emotion from speech.

It wasn’t that hard.

Clay’s POV-

“I miss you Daniel”

Saying the words out loud swept me with a wave of emotion. The type that makes you feel like you might actually explode. The type that makes you want to yell.

But the room remained silent, the few short moments passing like hours.

Silence meant nothing, and like Reverend Putty said, nothing meant hope.

I relish in those few moments.

He clears his throat.

I almost wince. I don’t want the hope to fade to disappointment.

Yet the suspense is almost too much to bare.

“Clay”

His words are unreadable, as always.

Frustrating.

I don’t reply. Am I supposed to?

My palms are sweating.

“Clay...”

He glances at the ground again. I do the same, only then realizing how long we had been keeping eye contact.

“Clay it’s over.”

He finishes.

I bite my lip. The words hurt just as much as before.

I’m not going to let him get away this time.

“It doesn’t have to be”

I sound more desperate than I had intended.

I try to make eye contact, search for any source of emotion, a sign that he really did care for me. Anything would do.

He still doesn’t look up.

My chest feels tight, I can’t think straight.

“It does Clay”

We meet eye contact again. It’s dull.

“It best for everyb-”

I cut him off before he can continue.

“Not for me!”

I sound somewhat whiny but it doesn’t matter.

I just want him to understand.

“Not everything revolves around you Clay.”

His voice remains calm. Almost irritatingly so.

I feel a tinge of resentment towards the lack of acknowledgement.

“I-I can’t live without you.”

A thick slur laces my words.

“Clay you’re not thinking straight. Go home.”

His words are carry a harsh edge.

“I’m going to kill myself.”

I’m desperate for any reaction.

Daniel’s POV-

My breath caught in my throat, I was taken aback.

He was so pathetic, I couldn’t be anymore attracted to him than I was right now.

I try to push away these nagging, shameful, feelings of lust. That’s all it is, lust. No more than that.

“You’re bluffing”

It’s getting harder to leave my voice devoid of emotion.

“I’m serious you have to trust me”

His voice was a mere whisper.

“I um”

I search for the right words to fill the silent void.

Clay’s POV-

“Daniel please give me another chance”

I’m just begging at this point.

I feel vulnerable.

“You don’t deserve another chance”

His voice is weaker than before.

I need to take advantage of this, grasp the moment while it’s still available.

“I love you”

I state it more boldly than I have before.

Though I don’t feel as bold about it, do I love him? Or do I just love the attention he gives me? What’s the difference really? It doesn’t matter.

“Clay I just want to move on with my life”

His voice is as smooth as silk, it didn’t matter what he was saying, it only made me want him more. Need him more.

“I know you still have feelings for me”

I don’t wait for a reply. After that moment things begin to blur.

I take his hand and pull his in closer. His flesh is warm to the touch.

“Clay stop!”

I stop for a second. Waiting for a reaction. The moment seems to drag. On. And on. And on.

I can’t tell what he wants. I don’t care. Actually I do care, just not at this moment.

I pull him closer my lips touching his, he resists, I keep on pushing until he caves in.

Daniel’s POV-

I feel guilty for liking this.

Is a little bit of guilt really too much of a price for happiness though? Could I really be happy with him? Could he really be happy with me.

I don’t have time to think in the heat of the moment.

The bitter taste of alcohol floods my tastebuds as we passionately kiss. A burning sensation courses through my mouth.

Bitter sweet.

I feel my dick hardening against my pants as our body’s gently pressed together.

I can’t help enjoying this.

What was am doing?! I’m only hurting people, giving into this act of reckless impulse.

Still it felt so nice.

Conflicting thoughts tear my skull.

I pull away from Clay, he’s smiling.

Why does he have to look so goddamn innocent.

“Keep going”

His voice is eager.

“I can’t”

I mutter feeling ashamed. What do I have to be ashamed of? I’m doing the right thing.

“We’re only hurting people”

I solidify my thoughts into words, it feels nice speaking what I truly feel for once.

“But I can make you happy”

He prods, It’s tempting, part of me wants to believe him, but life’s not that simple.

“You can’t Clay”

I make an attempt to pull away but his arms are still wrapped tightly around my body.

I feel myself growing tense. Small beads of sweat run through my hair.

“Daniel trust me”

His voice is strained.

“You should go”

I try to sound confident but my voice comes out mellow and passive. Just shy from a whimper.

I give a light shove but he doesn’t budge. Instead I feel myself being pulled in once again.

This time I feel nothing.

“Stop”

I try to separate my face from his.

“Stop!”

I couldn’t help but feel panic rising in my chest.

“I’m serious I want you to leave”

As much as I try to sound calm a faint quiver remains in my voice.

He’s not letting go.

The thought drums through my head.

Our lips part, I’m breathing heavily.

His arms are wrapped tight around my body.

My eyes are left unfocused, I feel drowsy, it’s late.

I can’t look at the man in front of me.

He’s looking at me, I can see the fuzzy outline out of the corner of my eye.

Everything felt... surreal.

I attempt to pull away, only to still be firmly in his grip.

It doesn’t hurt. It’s just uncomfortable, uneasy.

I stumble back. His hold loosens, I take another step before trying to yank myself away.

He’s still holding on.

My heart is going a mile a minute at this point.

I draw in a sharp breath before shoving him back.

My breath is caught in my throat when my foot catches on the rug. I slip.

My life doesn’t flash before my eyes. I don’t have time to think any last thoughts. There is no bright light. Just black.

My eyes are open but I cannot see. Warm sticky fluid pulses from my head. It’s hard to notice, hard to feel. It’s only a split second. Only a split second until it goes from hard to feel, to impossible. The warm sticky feeling is no longer present, nor the ringing in my ears. It’s just... nothing.

Clay’s POV-

My teeth dig into my lip as I stand, as still as a statue.

All I wanted, gone in an instant.

I had tried so hard to keep that moment.

Blood pools around my feet.

It’s not my fault.

He shouldn’t have... if he hadn’t...

I can’t think of an excuse this time.

It was an accident. I think.

I’m left standing here over a puddle of crimson blood, wondering what went wrong.

Why does everything I touch die.

Why do I have to ruin everything.

I miss him.

**Author's Note:**

> Boy I didn’t mean to include that much angst,
> 
> I could only bring myself to write late at night so I’m sorry if some parts don’t make sense (I did try and read through and edit.)
> 
> Anyways I really hope you enjoyed!


End file.
